I notice that maybe some of this has to do with class consciousness. It's only the middle class who are overweight generally. Obesity is growing here but so is the middle class. The labour workers are still as fit as can be. Most Americans sweat away in gyms for the physiques of your average construction worker in India running around with bricks on his head. Seems like the perception is that thin is for the poor people. A mother shows her family is doing well if they all have chubby cheeks and pot bellies. Moreover, physical labour is frowned upon. I tell my middle class Indian friends that at home I do my own gardening and drive a truck and they think I'm nuts. In India, the people I know here don't even wash their own dishes. The streets are not really comfortable for walking in most areas. The nicer districts are, but in most cities and towns there aren't even sidewalks. In Delhi, we have the lovely Lodi Gardens but it's a real drag to get there during most traffic hours. There don't seem to be many public spaces to take exercise. This is changing though I think.

Anyway, I'm not Indian so I can get away with refusing food more easily than most of you! Still I've felt the pressure to take seconds and thirds. The food is fantastic of course- the best in the world- but it's hard to find any dishes that aren't something cooked in oil added to something else cooked in oil. Really hard to get a good veg sandwich (people here think a sandwich is just bad white bread with some cucumber in it) or a good raw salad that is fit for a meal not a side dish. Nearly impossible to find someone who regularly cooks grilled or baked food without oil. I've put on weight since I've been here despite not having to worry about offending a mom. I can't imagine what it is like for you guys!

But like I said, the food is soooo good and the women spend hours cooking it. How can you not take seconds?

By the way, I know these entries are old but the website is still up and running so I thought it'd be OK to comment.

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

Awesome post! I laughed myself to tears, especially remember all the khana that Mom made for me when I visited my parents for one day last week! For that one day I was in Delhi, Mom made enough food to feed an army. “Beta, jab tum aate ho, to khana banane mein mazaa aata hai!” (son, I love making food for you when you come home!), and the Ram-baan of “Tumhare liye banaya hai, thoda to lo beta” (I’ve made this for you, you have to have a little of this).

Bas Ma, aur nahi! Hazmola hai kya?

Maaa main aa raha hoon maa……..

Indian mothers, I tell you!

You are in so much trouble ! Next time it’s just flowers on our anniversary I know who’s going to get a certain link!

Another coping strategy may be to flat out lie and say ‘doctor ne mana kiya hai’ , This will stop the feeding but may result in a barrage of worried queries…on second thoughts, forget it.

Jokes apart, it might be a good idea to set expectations before you sit down for the meal. You might want to prepare her for the tremendous insult you are offering to her nurturing instincts. Set the bar really low and she will be pleasantly surprised when you eat that third roti( all because you couldn’t resist her excellent cooking.)